Communication in any relationship is not about talking to each other and conversing.Its much more than that.Actually communication is all about connecting with your partner.And to connect , you may use physical, verbal or written skills.In a nutshell,communication is about fulfilment of your partner's needs.Therefore, it is essential to understand what your partners wants from your relationship with your spouse and also communicating what you want.This makes it mandatory for partners to realise and appreciate their needs.Most important is to understand your partner's core values.In most cases, couples are unaware of their own core values , forget about partners.So self-realization is essential to be in a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
How to improve communication with your partner?
Firstly, try to understand every person is a combination of primarily three primary representation systems(PRS).A person can be primarily Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic.So, firstly you need to find the PRS or combinationof PRS of your spouse.Observe what your spouse prefers, what he or she loves to do, what makes your partner happy, focus and observe the vocabulary they use etc. All this will definitely help you find your partner's preferences.If your partner is largely auditory, its very important to use verbal method and communicate and say "I love you".I bet , this will do wonders.You just need to find this much time to say you love her or him amidst your hectic work schedules.It will do wonders for your relationship.I bet.But if your partner is Kinesthetic,reinforce your love with touch and do it quite often.Just saying you love your spouse will not work here.And if your partner responses more to watching and visuals.Don't forget to watch a movie together on the weekend ,share your joy with gifting attractive things.Visuals like that.If you constantly work on this aspect, I am sure, your relationship will groom and communication will never be a problem.
Secondly,when you are with your partner communicating, it should be the only task you have in your hand.Be there 100%.Pay full attention and your partner should feel that you are truely with him or her.
Thirdly, always be honest and 100% transparent in your relations.Trying to hide something is biggest cause of conflicts in relationships.Trust your partner and express your true self and give oppurtunity to your spouse too.
Fourthly, one of the most imprtant communication skills is listening.Deep, positive and harmonious relations can only be developed by listening to each other.Here I am talking about active listening.And it is quite different from just listening.It involves showing your attention completely and involving interest in non-verbal communication.You should forget about your own thoughts and pay attention to the thought and what all is going on in your spouses mind.You have to be of couse tolerant and completely non-judgemental.
Fifthly, I warn , don't be judgemental.Simple logic for this is , if you judge someone, you question the persons's ego and when you want to change anyone, you will meet stiff resistance.For example, if a person is late back home , don't without knowing interpret or try to interpret, accept the fact that the person is late and there must be a genuine reason for the person being late despite the fact that a date or dinner was promised.Don't evaluate and judge the person as uncaring, it could be anything. May be circumstances.
Sixthly, don't assume what your partners wants.Ask specifically.Simply, make a clear request.It is far better than vague communication.
Seventhly. your communication should be active and nurturing.Always be enthusuastic and genuine interest in what your partner is talking about.
Lastly, avoid being hurtful in communication especially if your spouse is more auditory.It's destructive.
Lastly, always keep your thoughts positive as unhealthy verbal and non- verbal communication all starts in your mind through negative thoughts that you process constantly.They later transform into beliefs and words.
Try these tips, and I am sure you will benefit.The entire relationship series will provide you a complete tool- box to improve and enhance your relationships.
Love
Preeti Rawat
Preeti Ki Paathshala
09540401395
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